Loneliness hits you like a train when you’re just another international student, struggling the urge to stop converting pounds into rupees at every purchase; when you’re standing by yourself in the kitchen, stirring your dry pasta, the only sound you can hear is the subtle hum of your refrigerator. Just then, your phone rings, it’s your friend from university. She shows you the food she burnt because she was too lost scrolling reels on Instagram. You give a dry laugh, just enough satisfied with how yours turned out. She says she’ll call you again in some time. Fifteen minutes later there’s a knock on your door.  

“Let’s go for a walk.”, she says. And suddenly, everything doesn’t feel so difficult anymore. 

Celebrating the smallest of milestones gives you plain and absolute joy. That flutter in your chest when you think about getting together and being surrounded by the people you love, whom you claim to be ‘your people’; that’s called pure joy. As you get ready, your mind recollects all those memories you made the last time you met them. You cherish them with your heart and soul, knowing somewhere in the back of your head, that there’ll be a lot more moments in future. That’s hope; that’s called pure joy. As we step into this second semester at full speed, I can’t help but pause and look back at this rollercoaster for a journey that has barely begun. It is unimaginable how in the span of four months, I have learned so much, explored both the city and the countryside, hiked peaks, written and published my work as a writer for Redbrick, got selected for the role of Culture Editor, attended musicals and performances, celebrated Indian and British festivals. At the same time, I faced rejections on job fronts, struggled with the academic transition, stress and disregarded my mental health under the justification of pushing myself out of my comfort zone.   

Student-life forces you to be headstrong and confident at the same time. It challenges you, pushes you beyond your limits you didn’t even know existed.  The key lies in sticking to your basic routines, that give you an escape but at the same time, keep you grounded to the reality. For me, all it takes is a paperback of three hundred pages as I let the words on the pages do the magic. Looking after yourself is one of the trickiest aspects of being independent. Over time and practice, you start realizing that it does change you in many ways. That is when most people forget about the reason they chose to go through this experience. If it changes you, you are in control of deciding to change for the better. The best way to do that is to find reasons that make you feel happy about your decision. There are moments where I feel like I’m living in an alternate reality, that I have two lives now. Then again, there are times where every part of me is grateful for the sacrifices I made to come to a different country because the experiences I gain are worth it. 

Yes, you’re living alone, but just look around at the variety of people you’ve attracted that make you feel like home.  

Yes, you’re living alone, but you’re doing what you love! 

Yes, you’re living alone, but you make your own rules now! 

Yes, you have changed, but the little you would be so proud of who you’ve become now! 

By Vidhi Bhanushali